


I really need you

by Myballumheart



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:22:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myballumheart/pseuds/Myballumheart
Summary: Ben let's Callum know how he really feels.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Kudos: 69





	I really need you

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy my interpretation of Ben's first I love. Inspired by the spoilers for the coming weeks.

Ben and Lexi are walking to the park next to the archers. He was scared of going out on his own with Lexi after what happened the other week, but Lexi more so demanded to go to the park. Which he couldn't deny what his princess wanted. He was more watchful of her and when walking made sure he held her hand. 

He's trying to get his head around the argument he had with Callum the other night. Him nearly walking away. Callum telling him to stop pushing him away. To accept that he needs help. The fact that Callum was going to leave him, as he confronted him about the guy he left with from the Prince Albert, angry and disappointed with the fact he stole a car, getting arrested and being stubborn about it. 

It plays over in his mind what happened, that Callum feels like he's not wanted as he doesn't know what more he can do to help. They had both got upset, Callum storming out the Mitchell house, Ben was transfixed for a second and then running after him, shouting Callum's name. It was poring down raining of all things.

"I'm sorry. I need you Callum, I really really need you," he had shouted through the rain." Making Callum turn around. He nearly told him then, he just couldn't do it. Which lead him to opening up instead "I don't want to lose you, I am scared of losing you. I don't want to be a burden to you." 

Callum had looked with dread that Ben would ever think he would be a burden to him. That he finally told him his fear. Of losing him. Thoughts went through his head why would he leave Ben, if Ben showed the side he knows is there. The vulnerable side he's showing right now. There's only so much Callum can do and if Ben isn't willing any sort of help, Callum just feels helpless. Ben doesn't see himself the way Callum sees him. He strode towards Ben "you would never be a burden" Callum told him. 

Still stood there in the pouring rain looking at one another Ben reaching out to Callum's face, putting his hands through his wet hair and cupping his right cheek. "I'm sorry, I didn't listen to you, I want your help, I really do." They looked at one another, Ben pulled Callum in for a kiss so sweet, the rain washed over them. Callum's realised that they need outside help too, as he doesn't know fully what Ben's going through. 

  
  


He's been thinking and he knows Callum's right, that with what he did last week. He's not giving Callum any reassurance and he's thankful for Callum's support, but he knows he needs to show it too. That he does need him, Callum's his rock and not saying those 3 words to him the ones he's wanted to say, has been difficult for him. He's scared of losing him but not being with him is just as scary. As Callum said at Christmas he can't keep running away from falling in love, he can't help but love the man. 

Lexi stops in front of her dad so that he can see her and says "I" pointing to herself "love" hand in a fist placed over her heart "you" pointing to Ben. 

Ben smiles wide, he just loves it that she adapted so well to his hearing loss. Even though it's difficult for him as he's going through it, he was worried it would be difficult for her to communicate with him, but she's been great. Even though he isn't fully up for learning sign language, his little princess just knows what he needs. 

He loves her so much. To which Ben copies what lexi did by signing 'I love you' back to her. Still looking at Lexi she asks "do you love Callum daddy?" he's shocked by the question. 

Lexi thinks he didn't get what she said, she gets her dad's attention and repeats the question again slower. Lexi adores Callum and notices that he makes her dad happy. 

He doesn't have to think about the answer he replies "yes, princess I do" Lexi's happy with the answer and skips to the swing, dragging Ben along making him push her. It gets Ben thinking, to which he knows what he needs to do. 

All Ben can think about now is telling Callum he loves him. Callum's said it so many times, the fact that he writes it on him all the time reminding Ben any chance he gets. It's like he feels it in his soul when written on him and loves the fact Callum's adapted straight away. 

Ben wants Callum to know he loves him as lately he's been a little shit getting into bother. Which he knows he was trying to prove that he's fine, going around pretending to hear people, but trying to prove it more to himself. He just doesn't want to accept it, he hates help, but he knows he needs it. 

He's pulled out of his thoughts by Lexi tapping on his arm, which makes him jump. "It's raining," Lexi says, putting her hands up catching the droplets. 

Ben has an idea but first he takes Lexi to Kathy. 

  
  


*

Bens not great at gestures but he wants to make an effort. He goes back to the Mitchell house from the minute mart as no one's in and gets preparing. 

After everything's set up to his satisfaction he texts Callum, to see if he was on his way home. As he went to see Stuart then to visit Whitney in prison. 

Ben sits anxiously waiting on the chair in the living room so he can see the door when Callum arrives, as he can't hear him. Callum texts that he's 10 minutes away. 

Ben keeps checking his phone for the time, then the door over and over again getting anxious by the minute. Thinking he's gone over the top but wanting it to be special.

It's Callum's birthday, he didn't want anything over the top which Ben didn't do. He got him a frame with a photo of the three of them in and some expensive after shave, as he hadn't a clue what to buy. Now he's made romantic-ish dinner for two. 

He looks up, Callum's stood there looking as handsome as ever in jeans, jumper and bomber jacket. 

Ben smiles, this is the man that he loves and Callum's shown that he'll be there. He's now showing Callum. 

Callum looks around at all the Birthday banners, the table set for two, a birthday cake and what looked like chicken pasta in the oven. He's stunned to say the least. He smiles back at Ben, before he says anything, Ben gets up off the chair and walks over to him. 

"You were right, I've been acting out. I wanted to make it up to you." He waves his hands round the room, of his surprise. "I've put you through some shit that you really shouldn't have to deal with. But for some reason you do. Lexi made me realise something today that I should have said a long time ago, but saying it's been difficult, so I'm showing you a different way."

He knows him signing those 3 words speaks louder than his voice. He looks to Callum then, points to himself, fist over heart, then points to Callum. 

Callum's surprised thinking his eyes are deceived but smiles wide. He moves towards Ben, bringing his hands to his cheeks, keeping eye contact, till he looks to his lips and kisses him slowly. Ben picks up the speed and takes the kiss to another level. 

Ben signing 'I love you' is the best birthday present he could wish for. 

Callum needed Ben to understand that being the only one fighting for them isn't how he wants them to be. That he needs the reassures from Ben that he loves him too. When Kathy told him he left with some man from the Albert he was worried as he thought the worst. Even having an argument and Ben saying he was the guy he stole the car off, he was somewhat relieved. He trusts Ben but in that moment it felt like he wasn't enough. It still didn't make up for the fact that he would go off and self destruct like that. He understands why as it's Ben, but he knows it's not going to help him. Which Callum needed him to see that he can't always have his way, that he needs help. 

They break away, Callum bringing Ben in for a hug. To where Ben's resting his head on Callum's chest over his heart, it's his new favourite place as he can feel it beating away. He wraps his arms around him, like he's clinging on for dear life. To which Callum proceeds to draw 'I love you' on Ben's back. Ben smiles his way through it, grateful that he has Callum, as he doesn't know what he would do without him. 

Ben looks up at Callum still embraced, "I do need help… but I'm scared." Callum's thankful that Ben's finely opening up to him, that he's letting his walls down and showing Callum his vulnerable side. 

Callum gets his phone out to type what he wants to say to make sure Ben gets every word. He turns the phone round to Ben. 'We'll get through this. It's a journey we'll take on as a family, us, lexi, lola and jay. we'll find what works for us.'

He loves that he wants to help so much and used family, this man, he really doesn't deserve him. He looks up to him with so much emotion and cups Callums cheeks. He can't stop what comes out of his mouth "God, I love you" and brings him in for an emotional kiss. 

They finally get around to eating their chicken pasta. Before cutting the cake, they go and collect Lexi and stuff their faces. Having a family night in of movies with the subtitles on and Lexi sitting in the middle of them content. For now they are signing the basics and using their phones to communicate with Ben. Not wanting him to be left out. He couldn't be any happier, his family who are showing him nothing but love and support. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
